crazy

so I'm going crazy... or emotionally crazy? does that make sense.

so in April my uncle, or even my second dad one might say died. It was coming but in all honestly it felt like it came out of no where. My heart broke, and world literally stopped turning nothing else mattered. Slowly I steped back in the spinning world with glimpse of what I saw, what I felt, what I heard and the emotion keeps pouring back in.

so now I'm confused again.

I have memories that pop back in and I just want to cry and generally do.

well now I've been obsessing over Heath ledger... why I don't know

but I honestly in some ways feel like I know him... that makes no sense but I have dreams of him and usually it's images of him before he died and they weren't bad. I honestly think it was an accident and he just shouldn't have taken them all those pills together. Perhaps they were ment for certain times of the day example one he takes in the mornings and the other at night etc. So maybe it was just miss reading or who knows what. Or just maybe he knew exactly what he was doing and that's that. I think the thing that upsets me most is that his daughter was so young, he was so young and just how people portray him as going mad after the joker role. so weird because he said he loved that role in interviews and what not.

oh well

anyhow I just thought I'd mention that.

Fascinated by God

fascinated how everything works out.
God has this plan.
that's it.
that's how everything works.
God plans it.
seems chaotic.
everything is spinning spinning dropping out of control
but God has it, worked out.
the very day, hour, minute and then second it needs to take place.
so awesome.
I love you God.
I love that you heal all wounds and have Patience to wait for us to ask for help.
You are everything, and I love that.
Thank You!!!

I'll eat a human

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.