Michael: Okay, everybody. Tonight's event is to benefit the Boy Scouts of America.
Oscar: Again. We do that every year.
Michael: Well, they need our money. They don't have cookies like the Girl Scouts.
Oscar: It'd be nice to do something for people who are actually suffering.
Michael: Well, Oscar, if you don't like it, then you should concentrate on winning. Because the person at the end of the evening with the highest chip count will receive $500 to donate to the charity of their choice. AND, they will get a mini fridge compliments of Vance Refrigeration. (Phyllis smiles) So, get your charities into Pam. I, for example, am playing for Comic Relief.
Jim: That doesn't exist anymore.
Michael: Comedy's very much alive, as are homeless people.
Pam: No, they stopped making that show.
Michael: Well, then they need our money more than ever.
Angela: You have to pick an approved, nonprofit organization.
CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF CREED
Creed: There's a great soup kitchen in downtown Scranton. Delicious pea soup on Thursdays. I'll probably give the money to them.
CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF KEVIN
Kevin: Something with animals........Or people.
CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF KELLY
Kelly: Kobe Bryant has a foundation and he is so hot. And he gave his wife the biggest diamond ring. I know he didn't do it. (thinks about it) Maybe he did it.
CUT TO INDUVIDUAL SHOT OF ANGELA
Angela: We are giving money that has been gambled. Why don't we just deal drugs or prostitute ourselves and donate that money to charity?
CUT BACK TO THE OFFICE
Michael: (happy) Oh, and another fun thing. We, at the end of the night, are going to give the check to an actual group of Boy Scouts. Right, Toby? We're gonna-
Toby: Actually, I didn't think it was appropriate to invite children since it's, uh, you know. There's gambling and alcohol. (Michael's face falls) And it's in our dangerous warehouse. And it's a school night. And, you know, Hooters is catering. You know. Is that-is that enough? Should I keep going?
(Looong pause as Michael stares at Toby)
Micheal: Why are you the way that you are? Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it not, that way. I hate, so much about the things that you choose to be.
(Toby is quiet)
Michael: Okay, you know what? I will not donate my winnings to Comic Relief. Since, apparently, it doesn't exist. I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Jim: Whoa, I think you mean the Aid to Afghanistan.
Michael: No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Phyllis: Afghani.
Michael: What?
Phyllis: Afghani.
Michael: That's a dog.
Pam: No, that's afghan.
Michael: That's a shawl.
Dwight: Wait, canine AIDS?
Michael: No, humans with AIDS.
Creed: Who has AIDS?
Jim: Guys, the Afghanistanannis. (grins)
Michael: Okay, you know what? No, no. AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried.
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